When The Stars Align

All of the stars have aligned. When we started our job search we never dreamed that we would be presented with such an amazing opportunity. All of our wants and a few bonus features for our next home have been met. The city is clean, they had jobs for both of us, and our marriage will be legally recognized!

We are happy to announce that in August 2014 we are moving to Amsterdam in the Kingdom of the Netherlands.

Here is a flash back photo from when we first went to Amsterdam in 2008!

Smiles ear to ear!

Chad & Douglas

Heading into the Unknown

Searching for a job internationally is complicated. Especially when dependents, housing, and visas are factors to be considered by your prospective employer. There are not many places in the world that offer both Douglas and myself a position in the same location where it is not illegal for us to live.

It has been sixteen years since I came out of the closet and since then I have never faced any sort of discrimination because of that (that I know of). I suppose I have just been lucky; however in our job searching we have found that the world is much smaller that we originally thought. We only have two requirements of a country; clean air, and not illegal to be gay.

The unknown is really scary. The fact that we don't know where we will live starting in June is frightening. Even if we move back to the United States we still don't know exactly where we will live.

Whatever happens happens... Everything will work out in the end.

Chad

Two

Cedric and Ezra are officially two. Actually they turned two several days ago, but we have just been too busy to talk about it. In the last month I have been to Las Vegas and Douglas has been Denver and back. Our house has been a revolving door of activity.

Language development has reached a new level. The boys are becoming easier to communicate with which means life with twins is starting to calm down. Of course it is still wild, but once your children understand what you are asking of them it feels more like a partnership.

In other news we are heading to Prague for Christmas this year. We are super excited about this trip. Cedric and Ezra will get their first taste of genuine cold weather.

Another blog post is coming with updates about leaving Delhi and the search for new jobs.

Chad

Leaving India

This year will be our sixth and final year living in New Delhi. We decided last May that it is time for a change, and we are sticking to our plan. I say that jokingly, but we call India the golden handcuffs. We have great jobs, great salaries and live in a great community and therefore it is hard to give it all up for the unknown. Our number one choice would be to remain abroad, but we are also looking at moving back to the United States if that plan doesn't work out.

India has changed tremendously in the past six years, but India is a still tough place to live. I look back to the first time I arrived at the old worn down Delhi airport. It was the first time I had left the United States and my emotions were high. I remember coming down the stairs into passport control and bursting into tears. "What in the hell am I doing?"

India is a crazy place. Most people come for short stays and click pictures of the chaos because it is so wild it is funny. When we first arrived we felt the same way. It is interesting to look back at those first time experiences and compare how I felt then and how I feel now. I think we progress in waves. Our feelings have progressed from this is wild and it is funny, to this is wild and it is normal, and now to this is wild and it annoys me.

Our time in India has been wonderful. Our lives have truly changed because of this place. It is an experience we will never regret. India is full of firsts for us and it is a place we will never forget.


Chad

Too Hot for Shoes

It is officially too hot for me. I am being a wimp this year (5 years in Delhi), and starting to complain earlier than usual. Thirty-five more days until we are up and out. The temps are reaching 105 daily now and will continue to increase until about 115 through the end of June. Yesterday I declared a moratorium on shoes and socks. It is sandal season in Delhi.

Twins twins twins!

Both boys are walking (Ezra running). They are growing very fast. Cedric is tall enough to grab things off the kitchen counters. The boys are tons of fun and full of energy. Play time has become much more fun as their skills are developing.

Our lives have changed so much. Our house is also changing. We have dismantled our guest room and created an entire room dedicated to play time. We painted all the walls blue and put down a padded floor of letters and numbers. We love it right now, but are quite aware it might turn into more work down the road when they figure out it comes apart in a million pieces. Our dvds and books have been removed from twin level. No matter what we tried they couldn't resist the temptation.

The boys also like dancing on the coffee table. We are working on getting them to stop table dancing, but this is going to be an ongoing battle. I won't say if either father has danced on a box before...

Everyone in our house has been sick. The twins and I recovered within two days, but Douglas has been out of commission for the last two weeks. We all hope he is better soon since single parenting is no fun. It is easy to forget how much you depend on your spouse when everything is normal, but when one of you is missing you quickly realize how much help you need.

Chad

Research: 12-18 Month Behavior

I often joke with others that we're running our own little twin experiment, and usually leave it to them to figure out which twin is serving as the control group. What would happen if we only let one listen music performed exclusively by Dolly Parton?

Ever feel like things are getting away from you?

In all seriousness, here are some things I've been reading about development and behavior from 12-18 months.

Here is a brief summary of what play looks like at various ages, including 12-18 months.

Here are some behavior management strategies for pre-toddlers.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has a quick two-pager about eating habits, behavior management, growth development and vocabulary development for this age.

And, a bit about non-violent communication just for good measure.

Metaphor of the Day

Sometimes beautiful things come from non-traditional methods.

Love and Peace,
Douglas

Up and Out: Thailand

We are leaving for the airport in thirty minutes. Douglas did a great job at the last minute packing, and I managed to doubt him only once. We are close to being professionals... I think.

This should be a quick, easy, and painless trip. The only bad thing is the overnight flight being four hours and we land at sunrise. So it looks like a short night and a long day ahead. It will all be worth it after spending two weeks on a private beach with each other and our boys.

Happy Holidays!

Chad, Douglas, Cedric & Ezra

Playing Catch Up: First Birthday Party

Our last day in Istanbul was Cedric & Ezra's first birthday. We enjoyed carpet shopping, apple tea drinking, purchasing a great painting, and of course hopping on a plane. I sat down today and calculated how many flights the boys have been on in their first year and here is what I came up with.

Delhi-Newark-Indianapolis
Indianapolis-Houston-Frankfurt-Delhi
Delhi-Goa
Goa-Delhi
Delhi-Istanbul-Paris
Paris-Chicago-Indianapolis
Indianapolis-Newark-Delhi
Delhi-Hong Kong
Hong Kong-Delhi
Delhi-Istanbul
Istanbul-Delhi

So there you have it 17 take offs and landings and 46,530 miles in their first year of life. Not many babies can say they have been in six different countries (seven if you count Texas) before the age of one.

My mother came back to Delhi with us and we had a great two weeks hanging out around the house and exploring Delhi-lite. While she was here we had a proper celebration with our overseas family. Thankfully the boys are not all that into sugar and messes... yet.

We are off to Koh Chang Thailand next week for winter break. We get to spend almost three weeks with our asses in the sand and beers in our hands!

Here are a few pictures from the party.

 Chad

Our Life

I am not complaining... BUT!

We never sit down. We have two full time in house nannies/cleaners/cooks and a part time guy that walks our beautiful labrador for an hour each day. We still never sit down. Until I wrote it all down... I never realized what made the world go around.

Here was yesterday play by play:

5:00a: Ezra wakes Cedric up to help convince Dadda and Papa it is time to eat
5:15a: Twins toss bottles to the side, roll over, and pass out
5:20a: Douglas rejoins my lazy ass in bed
6:30a: Douglas makes his paleo breakfast
7:00a: I make my paleo-ish breakfast, twins on full court press, Douglas in shower
7:30a: Sheela arrives, I get in the shower
7:45a: Pouring coffee: Douglas black, mine with 1/4 cup creme, 3 heaping spoons of sugar
7:55a: Out the door, umbrella up
8:00a: Work
5:00p: I get home and finish up some work emails, twins sleeping
5:05p: Douglas out the door for disc
5:35p: I grab a snack, grab the remote, plant left ass cheek on the couch
5:36p: Cedric wakes up
5:40p: Ezra wakes up
5:41p: Twins full court press
5:50p: Strap the boys into stroller, bug spray, mosquito nets, dog on leash
6:00p: Pick Douglas up from disc, head off campus for 50 min walk
7:00p: Twins in high-chairs for dinner
7:30p: Twins in bath tub, Douglas making adult dinner
7:50p: Wheels fall off, screaming, wet, tired
8:00p: Twins dry, dressed, tiny bottle, sleep
8:05p: Adult dinner, vodka on the rocks
8:20p: Dishes
8:30p: Make baby food
9:45p: Pushups/Sit-ups for Thailand beach body, Big Bang Theory on in background
10:15p: Wake twins up for another small bottle (this put the stop on the 3a nursery rave)
10:30p: Adult bed time

Chad

Nine Months

Man oh man we have come a long way. It is down right shocking to think our babies are nine months old already. Here are some updates... and some color pictures from our summer photo shoot!

Ezra is fearless and can't sit still. He is always on the move. He loves to be up on his feet, and every time we put him down he is pulling himself up with the biggest smile on his face. A few days ago he escaped from the Bumbo seat and used it as a walker to move across the floor. While in the crib he is walking around the sides by holding on, and starting to let go with one hand. We are expecting him to take off running really soon.

Cedric is gaining speed across the floor. He prefers to use his arms to pull himself around though. He doesn't really use his knees to crawl traditionally. He is really happy to be on the move and turns around to make sure people are watching. He is also pulling himself up, but isn't all that excited about it just yet.

Both boys really like to float around in the pool. We had a nice swim session yesterday to escape the Delhi heat. We also made a trip out to Saket to one of the fourteen Mothercare stores and finally found high-chairs that are not plastic. The boys loved people watching at the mall and really enjoyed the day out and about.

We are busy working on travel plans. Douglas and I both have work trips planned. I am going to Singapore next month and he is going to Munich in mid-October. I have also just finalized our trip to Hong Kong for Doug's 30th birthday! Then in November we are escaping Delhi for a few days to avoid Diwali (loosely translates to chaos and noise). My mother is going to meet us in Istanbul and then come back to India with us for two weeks over Thanksgiving. Then lastly we are working on winter break travel plans to a beach in South East Asia that we have not yet visited. I will let you know if we find one!

The teeth tally is Ezra 3 and Cedric 2.

Family Photo Time

"Take my picture!"

"Look what I can do!"

"Are we done yet?"... "I'm out of here!"

Chad

When You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say

I've heard some crazy things while out with our twins. Some people, even when their intent is not to be rude or prying, really have no filter at all.

But, this story takes the cake. Take a second and read it!

Meanwhile, in Indianapolis, Chad and I had brunch on Sunday at one of the more popular breakfast places in the gayborhood. The food was great! The service--well--not so much. I am perfectly aware that, while being the 12th largest city in the US, Indianapolis is not a bastion of progressively-minded families. Nor are people really accustomed to seeing two-dad families strolling around.

But, I was completely unprepared for the cold-shouldered reception that we received from this particular LGBT-friendly restaurant. Now, let me provide some context: our stroller was stationed out of the way, not taking up any usable table space, our kids were quietly playing with their toys, we went at an off-peak time and our order was uncomplicated.

 Despite all of those mitigating factors (and when compared to our last venture out for breakfast which occurred at a Bob Evans with a waitress named Jenny who almost hugged our faces off because she thought our kids were so cute), we were totally not taken care of. I'll spare you the details on all of the things the waiter did that I found rude or dismissive; suffice it to say that in spite of leaving with full and happy bellies, I was scratching my head a bit.

And then I read this. And I wondered even more about what had happened to us on Sunday morning. Did we get the cold shoulder because we were a family at a restaurant other than Bob Evans? Or is there something else going on in the LGBT community.

Chad and Ezra doing some people watching from our 2nd-story loft in downtown Indy

We have about two more weeks to explore the area around our loft, so I'll let you know what we discover. 

Across the Globe Travel: France

Believe it or not we are still on the road... technically.

We left India early in the morning June 2 from our apartment for our flight from Indira Ghandi International Airport. Check in was easy with only a few nosey airline employees. We found that politely saying "Don't ask questions like that you are being rude" stopped people in their tracks. Passport control was a breeze compared to our first time, and we didn't get the "are you smuggling babies" treatment.

We flew Turkish Airlines to Paris by way of Istanbul and the airline was very accommodating. We had two bassinets on the first leg which everyone enjoyed. Then on the second leg, we had an empty seat between us. At almost seven months, our kids are proficient at sitting up in a chair with only a little support, so having an extra chair was nice. We were allowed to board the plane first with the twins, and the flight attendants on both flights came to meet the babies as soon as we were settled. They offered to help in any way they could, and the flight was smooth sailing.

For those of you who are traveling to India several times in a year, you might want to consider signing up for a credit card like (The United Presidential Plus Card by Chase) the one we have (1) has no foreign transaction fee, (2) allows you extra baggage, (3) allows for free upgrades when available when flying domestically and (4) allows access to the travel lounges in all major airports. During our layover in Istanbul we found the Star Alliance lounge and enjoyed the escape from the busy terminal. Seriously, this made our trip a breeze. In four hours our membership more than paid for itself and I never plan to leave home without my access card again. The lounge had really nice (immaculately clean) changing rooms and napping rooms for the boys, and a self service bar for the adults. We couldn't have asked for a better place to stretch out and regroup.

The boys did great the entire journey and only raised their voices in protest when we get into the rental car and headed for the hotel in Paris. It was Doug's first time to drive in Paris, so screaming babies didn't exactly make it very much fun. Driving in Paris was probably the most stressful time of our trip.

The next morning, we drove from Paris to Vichy, where we spent four great days. The town is beautiful and has wonderful parks for walking. It was nice to meet Doug's French family and everyone was wonderfully welcoming and went out of their way to make us feel at home.  I don't speak a word of French so I remained quiet during dinner while Doug and everyone chatted away. The food was great and no one made me eat snails.

Every place we stopped in France had a wonderful changing room. America could take a lesson in accommodating parents. Each of the changing rooms had a little toilet, changing table, and an adult toilet. The roads in France were also very nice. Living in India has made me appreciate a smooth ride. I didn't care too much for paying the $50 toll, but the roads were as smooth as, well, a baby's bum.

We were originally scheduled to fly United from Paris to Chicago, but do to a 21 hour delay (no, that wasn't a typo) we rebooked and re-routed through Newark. This was the first international flight I've been on where the flight attendants didn't care about the babies, offered no help ("sorry, we aren't allowed to rinse your bottles out") and ("do you think the babies will sleep most of the flight?") really just wanted to get through the flight.  It's not that they were rude (ok, maybe they were a little rude), they were just completely inattentive. So, other than the cranky flight attendants (you can always tell when it is a Newark based crew) the flight was fine. It was the smallest plane we have flown internationally, but it did the job.

Again, the United lounge at Newark was a nice place to relax and refresh during our layover. Once more our club membership paid for itself. We went to the gate right before our flight and we were thankful we didn't have to spend much time there.

We were in Indiana over the weekend. Now we are in Ohio visiting Doug's family. It has been great to see everyone. The boys are loving the attention and the grandparents are over the moon to hold the twins. We have received compliments from complete strangers on how well the twins travel so cheers to a good trip thus far.

Chad

Same, Same, but Different

It didn't occur to me until after I showered this morning, the extent to which my kids have become my life.  My skin is ridiculously finicky, and, if you haven't heard, the weather in India is phenomenally hot. And so as part of my morning toilette, I usually use some kind of lotion for the dry skin and some kind of powder in a vain attempt to keep some body parts dry. This morning, though, we were out of the regular products (vaseline intensive care and gold bond) and so, without giving it a second thought, I reachers for the nearest thing: Johnson and Johnson's baby powder (the brand name and the irony of what I was using it for is not lost on me) and Aveeno baby lotion. I continued with my morning routine, and it wasn't until about five minutes later that I thought about how things have changed over the last six months. And, how millions of parents--fathers and mothers all over the world--probably do the same thing without batting an eye. In our house, baby things are everywhere, and we wouldn't want it any other way.

Cedric and Ezra a few weeks ago

I teach at an international school in India, and my students come from all over the world. Our families are frequent fliers and one popular trip on long weekends is to go to Bangkok, where they have a famous, or infamous, saying: "Same, same, but different." A jaunt over to the Urban Dictionary will give you a little more context for what situations this saying applies.



Every week I see at least one student, refreshed from recent travels with his or her family, returning to school with this mantra emblazoned on a T-shirt. And it's true. We are all remarkably the same. As a teacher, I find that parents want their children to be treated the same as every other student about two-thirds of the time. There is justice in equality. But, all parents also recognize that their children are individuals unlike any other. And about one-third of the time parents go about the business of advocating for the specialness of their children. My job as an educator is to walk the fine line between the fairness of standardization and the richness of individualization. I hope that I am successful at least most of the time.

My students are not unlike the families I read about on blogs about parenting and surrogacy. Same, same, but different. Every family comes into the world in its unique way, with diverse makeups and heritages. Ever since the outing of President Obama as a supporter of marriage equality, I've noticed an uptick in the conversation about LGBT families on social media sites. I was engaged in such a conversation with  several conservative evangelicals on Facebook a few days ago until I felt the need to start checking my blood pressure after typing each response. The point I was trying to make is that out beyond the debate about whether or not marriage can be "redefined," or whether the government has an interest in favoring heterosexual marriage, there is a bottom line that hits home for me in a way that it never did before my husband and I had children of our own. So, permit me the vanity of quoting myself from that Facebook conversation:

If I were unable to make health decisions for myself, I want my husband to be able to do that. I want the option of having to prepare only one set of tax returns for our family instead of being forced to file separately. If something should happen to me or my spouse, I want our children to be raised by the only other parent they've known. I want my spouse to inherit anything I may own after I die. I'd like to be able to use the FMLA if my spouse becomes sick. If my spouse were not a US citizen, I would want him to be able to become a US citizen. I'd like to be able to purchase auto insurance at the rate afforded other married couples. When we're older, I'd like access to my husband's medicaid or social security benefits. And finally, (although there are technically about 1390 other rights we are not afforded), if my husband is wrongfully killed, I'd like the ability to sue. 

Every family is different. And every family is the same. When we're out of gold bond, I reach for the baby powder, just like you would. When our kids grow up, we want them "to do justice, and love kindness," just like you do. Yes, our family came about in a way that is unique and exciting. So did yours.  Our differences are an illusion as much as our similarities are a starting point for empathy.

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme: Goa II

So, flying with infant twins. Yikes!

Traveling buddies, Douglas and Ezra

Actually, I learned a few things from the recent flight from Delhi to Goa and then back again on SpiceJet (which, incidentally, names their planes after herbs and spices hence the title of this post). Here are the highlights:

1. If you have twins, each parent should have a diaper bag. We made the big mistake when we flew to the US of only taking one well-stocked diaper bag for the two babies. Even though all of our seats were supposed to be together, we learned that due to limited numbers of oxygen masks, airlines may have to move parents of multiples to different rows. Believe me, it was a royal pain to have a baby and no access to supplies when that happened. So, this time we learned that we needed to each have all of the changing supplies, bottle making accoutrements and extra clothes.

2. People have no sympathy for men flying with babies. I think that if you're a woman holding a crying baby, it's assumed that you know what you're doing and you're doing the best you can. If you're a man flying in India with a cranky infant, you will inevitably be placed next to a cranky passenger who wants to know where the child's mother is so that he can be properly soothed. I don't think my reaction was very nice when Ez started to cry and the man next to me asked for me to pass the child off to his mom. Chad had Cedric, and when Cedric started to cry, one of the Spicejet flight attendants told Chad to let him chew on a packet of sugar. Hmm.

3. Have bottles made and ready. Cedric is a comfort eater and any time he started to fuss, Chad popped a bottle in his mouth. This may not be the best parenting technique in general, but given the circumstance, I think it's probably better than drugging your child with baby tylenol. If you don't have a bottle made, the three minutes it takes to dump the powder in, shake it and heat the bottle seems more like three hours.

4. Fly when your child is happiest. Our morning flight went splendidly well. Our kids are so happy in the morning. Our evening flight, which happened at the time of day when the kids get a little fussy anyway, was not as smooth. Schedule your flights in the morning if your kids are morning lovers. It will make your day so much easier.

5. Leave extra time. But not too much extra time.

6. Take your infant carrier. We have used the Baby Bjorn as well as the Moby carriers. The Bjorn is less comfortable, but easier to put on and was our carrier of choice for the 2-hour flight. The moby was a life saver for the international Delhi-Newark flight.

What are your travel tips for planes? Leave them in the comments.

Happy Travels,
Douglas

What's A Day With Twins Like?

Cedric and Ezra are asleep in their pack and play, so I figured I'd take a moment to write about what a typical day in our household is like. I'll start at the beginning of the day. But, here's a spoiler alert: it's hard to determine exactly when the beginning of the day is because our days seem to keep rolling into each other.

For our six-week old twins, the days are broken up into three-hour cycles: 12, 3, 6 and 9AM and 12, 3, 6,   and 9 PM. I think that Cedric is ready to move to a four-hour cycle, but Ezra is not, so we are intentionally keeping them on the same schedule to maximize our sanity.

During the day we try to feed the kids and then have "awake time' right after the feeding. That means we'll do stretches, tummy time, diaper changes and staring at interesting things right after they eat. This works about 3 out of 4 feedings. The kids are getting more consistent with eating and then staying up to play as they grow. Ezra was born at a low birth weight, so feeding him regularly is the most important thing.

During nap times, we wash bottles, put in a load of laundry, stuff our wonderful g-diapers, or try to get other household chores done. Before I get much more into the play by play action, let me tell you a bit about our situation, so that you don't try to compare apples to oranges. As the subtitle of our blog says, we are a two-dad family. We live in India and work at a world-class school. Chad has been home with the twins since they were born, and in January he goes back to work. I get to stay home from January through the beginning of February. And, yes, we have full-time help (a nanny and a cook) who work during the days 6-days per week. So, we are able to get quite a bit done during the day, because there are usually three sets of hands at home at all times.

After the 6:00 feeding, we do a bath about every 3rd day. Then we put the babies in their cribs for the night at about 7:45PM. We have found that if we put them down after this that we miss the "window." and they have a hard time getting settled down. When they go down at 7:45, they sleep until 9 and go right back to sleep after. If they miss the window, they typically stay up until 9, and then are don't get settled until 10:30 or 11!

For the feedings during the day, we usually feed them at the same time, and then for the feedings during the night we feed them one-at-a-time so that only one of us has to get up. And for the night feeds we try not to keep them as calm as possible, and then put them right back to bed. This works most of the time. Every now and then we end up with fussy babies in the middle of the night, but not very often.

I can't stress to you how this schedule has saved our sanity for the first month of their lives! Our kids have thrived on their three-hour cycles and are typically very happy babies. Knowing that they need to eat at 12, 3, 6, and 9 twice a day has allowed us to physically and psychologically prepare for what needs to be done. For example, I know that I can go to bed right at 9:30PM, and then wake up for the 12AM feeding, get to bed at 1AM and then wake up and do the 6AM feeding before heading to work. This allows Chad to sleep until 3AM, and then sleep in until the kids need to eat again at 9AM. So, we're both tired, but we're not exhausted.

I hope that this doesn't seem too mechanical or robotic. Really, these last 6 weeks have been magical. Our routines have allowed us to get as much sleep as possible and have as much energy as we can to take care of each other and our babies. When people ask how we're going, I always say that we are having a great time because it is the honest truth! We love parenting our twins.

Happy Holidays,
Douglas 

And on the Seventh Day...

Things I've noticed since the arrival of Ezra and Cedric, some of them more profound than others:

Life is beautiful. Not that it wasn't ever beautiful, but these two lives that are now a part of us are already opening our eyes to the wonders of the world. This week has been nothing short of amazing.

G-diapers are great. I love that we are diapering our kids in a way that supports what we believe about the environment. From the moment our kids got home from the hospital this week, they have been in cloth diapers. Even the nasty post-birth meconium mess was contained by the g-diapers. Wow!

We have the sweetest labrador ever! She has been ignored, been stepped on, and had her space invaded by two crying infants, two busy daddys and lots of well-wishers, and she is still the sweetest dog ever.

I love the community we live in. We've had so many people stop by this week to meet the babies and wish us well. They have cooked for us, helped us with diapers, brought us stories of the outside world, and just been there for us to talk to. Thank you to our friends. I'm so glad that we get to start our parenting journey in this community.

Organization is essential. Chad, my wonderful husband, was remarkably organized this week and got us through checkout of the hospital with both twins and for our surrogate, collecting the birth certificates and the initial paperwork and DNA test at the consulate. He was superb throughout the whole week! Every document that needed to be handed in was filed, color-coded, and ready to go.

Organization is essential. This one is worth repeating. We spent most of the third trimester of our pregnancy getting the nursery ready for the babies, and I'm so glad we did. Now, I am really appreciating how detail oriented we were. Every little thing, down to the organization of clothes by size and the pre-stuffing of the diaper inserts has been appreciated.

Having twins means you have two children who are different. Actually, I knew that already. But, I never expected for a minute that my two children would be SO different even from the minute they were born. Having Ezra in the hospital for 3 days more than Cedric was difficult, to say the least. It reminded me again, that they are two different people, and from the outset will have different needs.

Sleep is great. I'm not going to pretend that we're all zombied out and sleep deprived. Have we slept less in the last week than in a good while?  Oh yes! Are we walking around carrying pictures of our bed? No (at least not yet...). What I will say, however, is that waking up when you're sleep deprived is like trying to get out of quicksand. The first two minutes of awake time are the hardest.

And finally, and most importantly, I love my boys and my husband more than I could ever have imagined possible.

Today is the one-week anniversary of the birth of our twins. Today our family took a moment to rest and relax together. From the two pictures below, you can tell why I feel exceedingly blessed.

New Perspectives

As you can imagine, we are over the moon with our boys. At the same time, however, it is so emotional to have one baby at home and one still in the hospital. Here's an update on all four boys in our family:

Ezra is learning about bottles like a little pro! Last night he had a practice session with a pacifier to get his sucking reflex going. Then, this morning when we came for a feeding, his tube was removed and he drank 15 mL from the bottle. Since then, he's had four bottle feedings of between 15 and 20 mL. Otherwise, he's a great and healthy little guy with the deepest blue eyes, and the cutest little lips. We really want him to come home soon. Cedric misses his womb-mate!

Cedric is increasing his bottle feed quantities every day. He's our little gas pipe, so we make sure to give him a few extra burps with every feed so as to avoid any upset stomachs. He has slept at home for two nights now. The first night was a fussy night. He wasn't sure what to think about a quiet and dark house. He seems to prefer the voices of people and lots of light. He also has deep blue eyes, and the longest piano fingers you've ever seen.

Chad's paternal gene has kicked into high gear. He is already a pro at calming Cedric when he needs to. And (this deserves fanfare and trumpets), has changed his first poopy diaper!

Douglas is getting really good at driving back and forth between BLK hospital and the apartment. He is loving having Cedric at home and can't wait until Ezra is home (although, the nerves are starting to kick about parenting multiples).

Love and Peace to All!
Chad, Douglas, Ezra and Cedric

Homecoming Part I

What a change we've seen in Cedric and Ezra! Just over night, our boys grew up just a little bit. How is that possible? 

Cedric on the left and Ezra on the right

The biggest change was in Cedric. In all of the pictures from yesterday he was looking really round. But today, he lost a bit of his puffiness, and you can see a very noble profile from our oldest son. Cedric and I started bottle feeding last night, and he practiced a few times over night with the nurses. By the time that Chad and I got to the hospital this morning, he was ready for another go, and he is feeding like a champ! It was lovely to walk in this morning to see that the feeding tube that was taken out last night was still out. So, our big boy is coming home this afternoon. We'll take care of all the paperwork to spring him from the hospital right after lunch. We've got the car seat and we've practiced fastening it securely. This will most certainly be my most nervous driving experience in Delhi yet! Precious cargo will be in tow!

Ezra is looking good too. He is definitely our curious one. His eyes were open all morning, and he's taking the world in. He has the most beautiful dark blue eyes (I know, they'll probably change color, but they'll always be beautiful). He is continually trying to suck on his feeding tube. Actually, I don't think he likes the tube very much. The doctor says that he will be ready to try direct bottle feeds today. 

When we went in today, we saw that the nurses had put some of the onesies we'd left on both of the boys. Since our kids have to stay in a nursery from birth for the first several days of their lives, it was oddly comforting to see that they were wearing the clothes we bought for them. 

Another odd feeling is that we'll be taking Cedric home and not Ezra. I guess that this is the first tangible lesson in twin parenthood that they are, have been, and always will be different people with different needs. Cedric needs to be home right now, and Ezra needs to be in the nursery. It is, however, a little bit of a mental somersault for me to reconcile myself with separating them after they've been in such tight proximity for 36 weeks and 4 days. 

Meanwhile, we're waiting to do the paperwork for their birth certificates and I'm glad that BLK hospital actually has decent coffee (for India).  

Happy Birthday

9:15 AM

As I write this, we are sitting in the cafe at BLK hospital in Delhi, very anxiously awaiting the arrival of our twins. After a night of chemically-inspired sleep (thank you ambien), we woke up to a bright, sunny day in Delhi, and at about 7:45 this morning, we grabbed the bags that have been packed for weeks and headed to the hospital. 

Seema walked in about 10 minutes after we did. I am so impressed at her body. She has our twins inside of her and she looks incredible. She is smiling and so mobile. I'm thoroughly thankful that our doctor suggested her to be our surrogate. Her body type is perfect. 

Check in has been a breeze so far. The baby wing of the hospital doesn't seem to be very busy this morning. There are only two other patients as far as I can tell from snooping around. So, I expect that our babies will be receiving undivided attention. 

Chad and I have been texting almost constantly with our friends at work, some of whom are in a class on assessment this morning.  I feel sorry for their teacher, as I am sure we will cause a bit of a distraction today! 

I just talked to Dr. Indira on the phone, and she is on her way to the hospital. She won't be the one delivering the babies, but she will be in the OR with Seema, and has promised to take pictures.

Meanwhile, Chad and I are sitting in the cafe. I am trying to stay "in the moment" but at this point, that is a pipe dream. At least I brought my computer to distract me from the wait. 

This is definitely the longest wait. 

3:24 PM

They're here! They're here! Our boys are here. 

Cedric Michael and Ezra Graham

I didn't tell anyone, but I had the sneakiest suspicion that we would have two sons. Hardly anyone guessed that we'd have two boys. When we told her the names, Dr. Indira,with her usual biting sense of humor, asked why we were giving them sentences instead of names. Chad asked me a little later if I thought their names would fit on the immigration cards that you get when you fly in and out of various countries. 

Ezra and Cedric are both resting right now in the NICU. The nurses and doctors here at BLK are doing an excellent job of monitoring their vitals. Both boys have feeding tubes, although Cedric hardly looks like he needs a feeding tube (he looks like he might be recruited to be linebacker for Ohio State: boy, wouldn't that make his grandma and grandpa proud?). Cedric was born at just over 6 lbs (2.8 KG) and Ezra weighed just under 4 lbs (1.8 KG). I have to say that both Chad and I were surprised by Ezra's weight, as the ultrasound technician had estimated that he weighed 4 lbs, 11 ozs, and that was at 34 weeks! So, having him show up at 36 weeks and 3 days and weigh less than 4 lbs was  a bit of a shock.  

The doctor says they are both doing fine. I think they both look absolutely beautiful. We've had two visits to the NICU, and now we are resting in the lounge, getting ready to go back for a third visit. We got to hold them for a few minutes a piece at about one hour after they were born. Then, we left the hospital and went to get something to eat, and then we came back and sat with them for a little longer. 

I asked the doctor what the next 24 hours will look like. He said that they will continue to be on the feeding tube, and that they will continue to monitor heart rate, breathing rate, and any "output" that they boys may have after their feedings. Then, tomorrow morning, we will try to give them their first bottles. I made sure that they understood that we wanted to be present for their first bottle feeding. Chad said that I wasn't being too much of a "stage parent." In spite of the low birth rate for Ezra, both babies are simply beautiful. 

The biggest thing in the next 24 hours will be to make sure they are getting the nutrients that they need. The doctor said that he didn't want to risk trying a bottle feeding today. OK. 

Chad and I are doing great. Actually, we're so far past excited that we're a little emotionally spent (at least I am). At about 2:00 a flood of tiredness washed over us. So, after we sat with the boys for a little while longer, we came down to the lounge and crashed in the most uncomfortable chairs I've sat in in a while. 

I can't wrap my head around their arrival. It's so amazing. 

4:30 PM

I hate my camera. The pictures I took of the Cedric and Ezra don't do them justice (plus, some of them are a tad bit out of focus). Thank goodness our friend Mary is coming to the rescue with a much better camera. 

9:28 PM

Exhaustion! 

We are home, and had a toast to the boys, as well as a little dinner. Now, I'm in the process of updating all of the people who need to be updated. And, taking care of updating the blog. Before I remove our fishbowl and our polls, let me say that we made it to 36 weeks and 3 days gestation, and that nobody expected us to have 2 boys (4 respondents out of 32). Only 10% of those surveyed thought that the boys would be born today (4 out of 36). 

Before we left the hospital for the evening, the nurses removed Cedric's feeding tube, and I tried to give him a bottle. I was only moderately successful, but the nurse did a much better job (she had to continually stimulate his chin and cheek in order to engage his sucking reflex). They are going to try another bottle tonight, and then we'll be back in the morning for his bottle at 8:00 AM. 

Let me just say that both of our sons are adorable. After I fed him, Cedric got the cutest case of the hiccups. Yep. It only took about 2 minutes before my kids officially became the cutest kids in the world. 

And with that thought, Chad and I are going to bed. We will probably have to chemically induce our sleep tonight because our minds are racing at about 1000 miles per second. 

We are both filled with wonder and amazement at the birth of our sons, and at the marvelous support that we have from family and friends. 

Life is magical!

Love and Peace,

Douglas