A Long Time Gone

Wow it has been a long time! So much has happened since our last post I don't even know where to start. The long and short is that we are officially residents of the Netherlands now. 

It was definitely a crazy end to our six years in India. Without going into detail in regards to the India-United States drama that transpired, we really couldn't bring ourselves to blog in the final months in India. We loved our time in India, but we are very happy we made the decision to leave when we did.

We moved two adults, twin two and a half year olds, a labrador, seven suitcases, and one hundred and two boxes from New Delhi to Amsterdam. The actual moving was painless thanks to wonderful relocation packages from our employers. 

Our new house is fantastic. We rented with only seeing photos and are very happy with our selection. We are about a fifteen minute walk and a five minute bike ride to work. Also we are only a five minute bike ride away from a giant shopping center, and a massive forest to explore in.

In our first few weeks in the Netherlands we have met several new people and are having a great time. We were greeted with fantastic weather the first week. Lately though we have been experiencing the normal rain that is typical for the region.

Amsterdam is refreshing and clean, and just all around easy to navigate. Cedric and Ezra are loving all of the public transportation... trains, trams, busses, and bikes they love it all! 

Our family is in love with our new home. We look forward to getting to know this place as we get settled in. 

Oh and we also plan to get back into regular blogging now that life is a bit more calm.

Here are a few pictures since we last posted.

Chad & Cedric in Mauritius

Mary, Douglas, Cedric @ brunch

102 boxes enroute to The Netherlands

This is our life

Ezra - "Jet lag stinks"

Grandpa's story time

Quick trip through DC 

Douglas & Ezra giant slip and slide fun

Chad & Cedric giant slip and slide fun

Fried everything at Columbus Pride 2014

Ezra surfs up in Outer Banks NC

Douglas & Cedric go to Ivanhoes!

Cousin play time

Fresh haircuts

Cedric - "Take my picture!"

Baltimore MD

Our first family bike ride

Playing in our new back garden

Kitchen singing time

Cheese!

Chad

When The Stars Align

All of the stars have aligned. When we started our job search we never dreamed that we would be presented with such an amazing opportunity. All of our wants and a few bonus features for our next home have been met. The city is clean, they had jobs for both of us, and our marriage will be legally recognized!

We are happy to announce that in August 2014 we are moving to Amsterdam in the Kingdom of the Netherlands.

Here is a flash back photo from when we first went to Amsterdam in 2008!

Smiles ear to ear!

Chad & Douglas

Heading into the Unknown

Searching for a job internationally is complicated. Especially when dependents, housing, and visas are factors to be considered by your prospective employer. There are not many places in the world that offer both Douglas and myself a position in the same location where it is not illegal for us to live.

It has been sixteen years since I came out of the closet and since then I have never faced any sort of discrimination because of that (that I know of). I suppose I have just been lucky; however in our job searching we have found that the world is much smaller that we originally thought. We only have two requirements of a country; clean air, and not illegal to be gay.

The unknown is really scary. The fact that we don't know where we will live starting in June is frightening. Even if we move back to the United States we still don't know exactly where we will live.

Whatever happens happens... Everything will work out in the end.

Chad

Leaving India

This year will be our sixth and final year living in New Delhi. We decided last May that it is time for a change, and we are sticking to our plan. I say that jokingly, but we call India the golden handcuffs. We have great jobs, great salaries and live in a great community and therefore it is hard to give it all up for the unknown. Our number one choice would be to remain abroad, but we are also looking at moving back to the United States if that plan doesn't work out.

India has changed tremendously in the past six years, but India is a still tough place to live. I look back to the first time I arrived at the old worn down Delhi airport. It was the first time I had left the United States and my emotions were high. I remember coming down the stairs into passport control and bursting into tears. "What in the hell am I doing?"

India is a crazy place. Most people come for short stays and click pictures of the chaos because it is so wild it is funny. When we first arrived we felt the same way. It is interesting to look back at those first time experiences and compare how I felt then and how I feel now. I think we progress in waves. Our feelings have progressed from this is wild and it is funny, to this is wild and it is normal, and now to this is wild and it annoys me.

Our time in India has been wonderful. Our lives have truly changed because of this place. It is an experience we will never regret. India is full of firsts for us and it is a place we will never forget.


Chad

Music to Our Ears

If you haven't heard the news, or heard the song, you've got to watch this. Congratulations to all our friends in New Zealand!

From Towleroad:

Hundreds of spectators in the gallery of New Zealand's parliament broke into a rendition of the love song “Pokarekare Ana” in the indigenous Maori language after the marriage equality bill was passed today.

Metaphor of the Day

Sometimes beautiful things come from non-traditional methods.

Love and Peace,
Douglas

Up and Out: Thailand

We are leaving for the airport in thirty minutes. Douglas did a great job at the last minute packing, and I managed to doubt him only once. We are close to being professionals... I think.

This should be a quick, easy, and painless trip. The only bad thing is the overnight flight being four hours and we land at sunrise. So it looks like a short night and a long day ahead. It will all be worth it after spending two weeks on a private beach with each other and our boys.

Happy Holidays!

Chad, Douglas, Cedric & Ezra

Playing Catch Up: First Birthday Party

Our last day in Istanbul was Cedric & Ezra's first birthday. We enjoyed carpet shopping, apple tea drinking, purchasing a great painting, and of course hopping on a plane. I sat down today and calculated how many flights the boys have been on in their first year and here is what I came up with.

Delhi-Newark-Indianapolis
Indianapolis-Houston-Frankfurt-Delhi
Delhi-Goa
Goa-Delhi
Delhi-Istanbul-Paris
Paris-Chicago-Indianapolis
Indianapolis-Newark-Delhi
Delhi-Hong Kong
Hong Kong-Delhi
Delhi-Istanbul
Istanbul-Delhi

So there you have it 17 take offs and landings and 46,530 miles in their first year of life. Not many babies can say they have been in six different countries (seven if you count Texas) before the age of one.

My mother came back to Delhi with us and we had a great two weeks hanging out around the house and exploring Delhi-lite. While she was here we had a proper celebration with our overseas family. Thankfully the boys are not all that into sugar and messes... yet.

We are off to Koh Chang Thailand next week for winter break. We get to spend almost three weeks with our asses in the sand and beers in our hands!

Here are a few pictures from the party.

 Chad

The Votes Are In!

Ezra has decided who NOT to vote for:

His dads approve this message!

Cheers, 

Douglas 

Nine Months

Man oh man we have come a long way. It is down right shocking to think our babies are nine months old already. Here are some updates... and some color pictures from our summer photo shoot!

Ezra is fearless and can't sit still. He is always on the move. He loves to be up on his feet, and every time we put him down he is pulling himself up with the biggest smile on his face. A few days ago he escaped from the Bumbo seat and used it as a walker to move across the floor. While in the crib he is walking around the sides by holding on, and starting to let go with one hand. We are expecting him to take off running really soon.

Cedric is gaining speed across the floor. He prefers to use his arms to pull himself around though. He doesn't really use his knees to crawl traditionally. He is really happy to be on the move and turns around to make sure people are watching. He is also pulling himself up, but isn't all that excited about it just yet.

Both boys really like to float around in the pool. We had a nice swim session yesterday to escape the Delhi heat. We also made a trip out to Saket to one of the fourteen Mothercare stores and finally found high-chairs that are not plastic. The boys loved people watching at the mall and really enjoyed the day out and about.

We are busy working on travel plans. Douglas and I both have work trips planned. I am going to Singapore next month and he is going to Munich in mid-October. I have also just finalized our trip to Hong Kong for Doug's 30th birthday! Then in November we are escaping Delhi for a few days to avoid Diwali (loosely translates to chaos and noise). My mother is going to meet us in Istanbul and then come back to India with us for two weeks over Thanksgiving. Then lastly we are working on winter break travel plans to a beach in South East Asia that we have not yet visited. I will let you know if we find one!

The teeth tally is Ezra 3 and Cedric 2.

Family Photo Time

"Take my picture!"

"Look what I can do!"

"Are we done yet?"... "I'm out of here!"

Chad

Friday News Roundup

I've read a few great articles this week that I'd like to share with you:

Josh Goodman has this reminder about the lessons that the Boy Scouts are teaching the male youth of America.

This article about surrogacy and whether or not the women who choose to be surrogates are really entering into contracts by choice is thought provoking. I know through our interaction with our surrogate, that the decision to enter into surrogacy was her own and it received full support from her immediate family.

Chronicles of a Babywise Mom has a review of a book that I've been meaning to review but haven't found the time. I'll only add that I found Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg to be an excellent read and it has been immensely helpful in parenting our twins.

Another big expose in an Indian newspaper about surrogacy. In my experience, our surrogate was not impoverished. Poverty in India is another story all together.

Meanwhile, Chad and I have been listening to the news this morning about the shooting in Aurora, Colorado. We are saddened by the events, and especially heartbroken that someone would perpetrate violence on a victim as young as three months old. We are keeping the community of Aurora in our thoughts.

Peace!

Douglas 

Kick the Chick

One of our resolutions heading into the summer (one that I am proud to say we've stuck to) was to avoid going to one of our formerly favorite restaurant. Yep, we've boycotted Chick-fil-a. You may or may not know that Chick-fil-a is a very anti-family organization in the sense that they choose to support groups who define families in the narrowest (and most narrow-minded) sense.

I've said it many, Many,  MANY times on this blog, and I don't mind saying it again. Families are all different. Whether or not you are the most WASPy, straightest, falling-off-the-right-side-of-the-world family housed in your 3-bedroom home behind your white picket fence with your 2.5 children and golden retriever, your family is different than every other family. Allowing states-sanctioned discrimination based upon the premise that some families are too different is absurd. Defining family in a way that excludes so many groups of loving individuals is destabilizing choice that is neither pro-family nor loving.

I encourage anyone who values diversity, who is an ally (like this man) of the LGBT community and who realizes that marriage equality is in our best interest as human beings to join my family and kick your Chick-fil-a habit. 

Two Years

Two years ago today we crossed the Mississippi and entered the great state of Iowa. We grabbed a quick lunch and then jumped over to a office building where we got married in their conference room. It was far from fancy, but it was official. At least in the state of Iowa. 

During the adoption hearing Thursday was the first official time we outright declared that we were husbands. Indiana does not recognize our marriage, but our attorney wanted it to be in the court testimony that we were in fact married. It felt so liberating when asked "What is your relationship with Douglas?" and my response was "He is my husband."

We have been together five amazing years. and legally married for the last two.

Chad

When You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say

I've heard some crazy things while out with our twins. Some people, even when their intent is not to be rude or prying, really have no filter at all.

But, this story takes the cake. Take a second and read it!

Meanwhile, in Indianapolis, Chad and I had brunch on Sunday at one of the more popular breakfast places in the gayborhood. The food was great! The service--well--not so much. I am perfectly aware that, while being the 12th largest city in the US, Indianapolis is not a bastion of progressively-minded families. Nor are people really accustomed to seeing two-dad families strolling around.

But, I was completely unprepared for the cold-shouldered reception that we received from this particular LGBT-friendly restaurant. Now, let me provide some context: our stroller was stationed out of the way, not taking up any usable table space, our kids were quietly playing with their toys, we went at an off-peak time and our order was uncomplicated.

 Despite all of those mitigating factors (and when compared to our last venture out for breakfast which occurred at a Bob Evans with a waitress named Jenny who almost hugged our faces off because she thought our kids were so cute), we were totally not taken care of. I'll spare you the details on all of the things the waiter did that I found rude or dismissive; suffice it to say that in spite of leaving with full and happy bellies, I was scratching my head a bit.

And then I read this. And I wondered even more about what had happened to us on Sunday morning. Did we get the cold shoulder because we were a family at a restaurant other than Bob Evans? Or is there something else going on in the LGBT community.

Chad and Ezra doing some people watching from our 2nd-story loft in downtown Indy

We have about two more weeks to explore the area around our loft, so I'll let you know what we discover.