Monday, September 5, 2011

Difficult Reading

Chad forwarded this NYTimes article to me the other day with the message "Don't read this until you're OK with crying for a while."

Fortunately, we didn't have to go through fetal reduction. Our surrogacy journey didn't take us down that particular road. We know we've had it easier than most so far. But, if you are going to pursue surrogacy, you have to be willing to answer some difficult questions for yourself. This is a particularly well-written article about one of the very difficult choices that accompanies pursuing a pregnancy through ART (assisted reproductive technologies).

Then, a few hours later he sent me this Slate article, which also got my wheels turning.

So, since neither of these articles are directly related to our surrogacy journey, why post them?

I post these articles because the idea of increased ethical implications due to so much freedom of choice that the Times author describes resonates with me. The more options people have for reproductive therapies, the greater the potential for ethical conundrums. Makes sense, right?

I post these articles because it prompted me to reflect on the ethics of our surrogacy arrangement. I hope it will make you reflect as well.

I post these articles because I want people to learn about their options, but to always be reflective about the ethics of their situations. In the end, my opinion about egg donors or fetal reduction doesn't matter to anyone besides my family and me. What's more important is that people do their best to be informed of the implications of their decisions.

And perhaps, for me, the most important reason I post these articles is to say that I am 100% A-OK with the ethical circumstances of our surrogacy. I am confident that our surrogate and our babies are receiving excellent medical care. Having met our surrogate, talked with her and her husband, gone to scans with her, I am confident that there is no coercion, and that she has freely entered into this arrangement. I am certain that the benefits her family will accrue from our agreement are phenomenally positive.

Perhaps you are thinking that there is no way for you to achieve your dream of having a family. Maybe you have an opinion about what surrogacy is, and you need to revisit how those opinions were formed.

These are not easy questions, or thoughts, but they are worth considering.


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