Wednesday, July 11, 2012

When You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say

I've heard some crazy things while out with our twins. Some people, even when their intent is not to be rude or prying, really have no filter at all.

But, this story takes the cake. Take a second and read it!

Meanwhile, in Indianapolis, Chad and I had brunch on Sunday at one of the more popular breakfast places in the gayborhood. The food was great! The service--well--not so much. I am perfectly aware that, while being the 12th largest city in the US, Indianapolis is not a bastion of progressively-minded families. Nor are people really accustomed to seeing two-dad families strolling around.

But, I was completely unprepared for the cold-shouldered reception that we received from this particular LGBT-friendly restaurant. Now, let me provide some context: our stroller was stationed out of the way, not taking up any usable table space, our kids were quietly playing with their toys, we went at an off-peak time and our order was uncomplicated.

 Despite all of those mitigating factors (and when compared to our last venture out for breakfast which occurred at a Bob Evans with a waitress named Jenny who almost hugged our faces off because she thought our kids were so cute), we were totally not taken care of. I'll spare you the details on all of the things the waiter did that I found rude or dismissive; suffice it to say that in spite of leaving with full and happy bellies, I was scratching my head a bit.

And then I read this. And I wondered even more about what had happened to us on Sunday morning. Did we get the cold shoulder because we were a family at a restaurant other than Bob Evans? Or is there something else going on in the LGBT community.

Chad and Ezra doing some people watching from our 2nd-story loft in downtown Indy
We have about two more weeks to explore the area around our loft, so I'll let you know what we discover. 


  1. OMG-that exact thing was said to me a few weeks ago!! The lady who said it was not much older than me and a city worker in the cbd. I also had the 'deer in headlights' look as she was obviously inferring (however innocently) that I was a big tart who was getting down with white guys & dark guys for my babies to look so different. Oh do get some very unique comments...

  2. I am so glad you wrote this post. I have been struggling the past few weeks with comments that have left me as the "Deer in the headlights look " and no good come back comment. I feel like I am not protecting my girls enough and I am so mad at myself after and all the good things I could have said come to me once my head clears, but it is too late.
    Although your experience is unique to your situation, all the comments and body language suck.
    I love the picture of Chad and Ezra.
    I love your family!

  3. I will never understand why some people waste their lives judging others rather than just being nice genuine people..but that's my opinion, these people are wasting their lives away whilst you are living life to the full. It makes me quite annoyed but try not to let it get to you, rise above it. Love SR xxxxx :) PS You kids are gorgeous.

  4. I have a friend like this - says everything that pops into her head the moment it pops in there. Fortunately we are close enough that I tell her "OMG!!! You're so rude!" We get a good laugh out of it, but it doesn't help. I think it's some undiscovered form of turrets.
    Sadly, many waiters simply do not like families with small children - gay, straight, or otherwise. They usually have lower tickets (thus less tip) than say a four-top and a bigger cleanup. If you don't get the service you deserve, make sure to write a letter (copying the manager and general manager if possible.) It's been 20 years since I've been in the restaurant business, but mailed letters used to do wonders.

  5. I just got this from another blogger: hilarious!

    1. Oh my goodness I saw this yesterday. It is so hilarious. There are a few answers in there that I am going to start using.