The Witching Hour

Time to check in from Delhi. It is 4:30am and the boys are finally down again. Unbeknownst to me they have been having a party since about mid-night. Douglas finally threw in the towel at 3:00a for some assistance by my PTFO position in bed. With that said I feel great and just had a big breakfast. With this schedule lunch shall commence around 9:30a.

Our trip back couldn't have been more uneventful. We had our typical delay out of Indianapolis, but we  had plenty of time to make the connection so everything worked out. We missed out on our business/first class upgrade. We were number five and six on the list, but they only had four seats available. There will always be a next time.

The boys did great the entire time. Cedric slept in two hour intervals which allowed me to get some good naps in.  He is a comfort eater, and a pacifier addict so it was easy to keep him happy. He was quite the social butterfly with the man sitting next to us. I actually had to tell the man to ignore him so he would go to sleep. Ezra slept for the first ten hours of the flight, and then woke up ready to run a marathon. Douglas had his work cut out for him the last few hours of the flight. I can count on one hand how many minutes the boys cried in the 24 hours it took to get from Indy to India. We are so thankful that our boys are such great travelers.

The final tally of things making the journey: eight checked bags (50-60 lbs each), five carry-on bags (includes two diaper bags and two baby carriers, and a rolling suitcase with relief everything), two babies, two adults, and four bottles from duty free. Our driver that met us at the airport had a look of terror on his face when he saw us heading in his direction. Everything fit... including the twins and the top shelf vodka.

The twins are changing so fast. They are both mobile so it is game on. We quickly learned that our house is not yet child proofed. I love getting Cedric to laugh. He is majorly ticklish and his laugh is contagious. Erza might be a gymnast in a few years. He can contort and bend in ways I can't imagine.

Some of our friends are already here, and the rest will trickle in over the next few days. We met the new faculty and they are a great bunch of people. As anticipated the newbies are shocked when we tell them this is year five for us.

It feels great to be back in Delhi.

Chad

Back to Delhi: Packed & Ready

Once again our bags are packed. We are scheduled to leave Indianapolis tomorrow afternoon, and we should be in New Delhi Thursday night. We are looking forward to getting back into our home and settled down again for the new year. I have to start working again on Friday morning. There is nothing like hitting the ground running.

You should expect tomorrow's parade to the airport to have all the makings of a circus coming to a tent near you. While we were filling our bags today we quickly realized that we had officially shopped too much this summer. We had to run up to our storage unit and retrieve an additional suitcase. Our checked bag count is up to eight, and carry-ons are at five. Thankfully my parents are going to help us get to check-in, and we won't have to look at the most of it until we get to the other side of the world.

Chad

Friday News Roundup

I've read a few great articles this week that I'd like to share with you:

Josh Goodman has this reminder about the lessons that the Boy Scouts are teaching the male youth of America.

This article about surrogacy and whether or not the women who choose to be surrogates are really entering into contracts by choice is thought provoking. I know through our interaction with our surrogate, that the decision to enter into surrogacy was her own and it received full support from her immediate family.

Chronicles of a Babywise Mom has a review of a book that I've been meaning to review but haven't found the time. I'll only add that I found Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg to be an excellent read and it has been immensely helpful in parenting our twins.

Another big expose in an Indian newspaper about surrogacy. In my experience, our surrogate was not impoverished. Poverty in India is another story all together.

Meanwhile, Chad and I have been listening to the news this morning about the shooting in Aurora, Colorado. We are saddened by the events, and especially heartbroken that someone would perpetrate violence on a victim as young as three months old. We are keeping the community of Aurora in our thoughts.

Peace!

Douglas 

Kick the Chick

One of our resolutions heading into the summer (one that I am proud to say we've stuck to) was to avoid going to one of our formerly favorite restaurant. Yep, we've boycotted Chick-fil-a. You may or may not know that Chick-fil-a is a very anti-family organization in the sense that they choose to support groups who define families in the narrowest (and most narrow-minded) sense.

I've said it many, Many,  MANY times on this blog, and I don't mind saying it again. Families are all different. Whether or not you are the most WASPy, straightest, falling-off-the-right-side-of-the-world family housed in your 3-bedroom home behind your white picket fence with your 2.5 children and golden retriever, your family is different than every other family. Allowing states-sanctioned discrimination based upon the premise that some families are too different is absurd. Defining family in a way that excludes so many groups of loving individuals is destabilizing choice that is neither pro-family nor loving.

I encourage anyone who values diversity, who is an ally (like this man) of the LGBT community and who realizes that marriage equality is in our best interest as human beings to join my family and kick your Chick-fil-a habit. 

Anderson, My Alma Mater

The title of this post is actually supposed to be sung to the tune of, well, the AU Alma Mater. The boys and I took a trip up to Anderson, where I received my undergraduate degree way back when my hair was a little less gray and a little more plentiful. I am not sure they realized how special it was for me to take them to a place that represents so many wonderful memories, but nevertheless, good times were had by all!

Today is the Day

There is a point in every summer that we decide it is time to go back to India. It is the time when we are tired of running around, ready to have our home back, ready to see our dog, ready to see our Delhi friends, and just all around tired of dealing with everything. Today Douglas and I looked at each other and almost simultaneously said "I am ready to go back to India."

We are heading home next week and that is a good feeling.

Chad

Two Years

Two years ago today we crossed the Mississippi and entered the great state of Iowa. We grabbed a quick lunch and then jumped over to a office building where we got married in their conference room. It was far from fancy, but it was official. At least in the state of Iowa. 

During the adoption hearing Thursday was the first official time we outright declared that we were husbands. Indiana does not recognize our marriage, but our attorney wanted it to be in the court testimony that we were in fact married. It felt so liberating when asked "What is your relationship with Douglas?" and my response was "He is my husband."

We have been together five amazing years. and legally married for the last two.

Chad

How Long Does Surrogacy Take?

Today, we have an answer to that question. In our case, it took one year, five months and 21 days from our first meeting with our surrogacy agency in India until our paperwork to become a family with an order of adoption for both dads for both kids was final. I realize that others' journeys down this road may take longer; but, I am sharing this with you, dear readers, to let you know--if you are on a similar path--that there is an end to all of the paperwork and legal documents and getting there feels really incredible!

Today is an incredible day for our family as it represents a milestone we've reached after what seems like a very long journey, even though I know that our journey wasn't nearly as long as some people.

Today feels like another birthday for my kids, and another anniversary for me all rolled into one.

Today, I am proud that, despite some serious backwardness regarding LGBT issues, we live in a state that recognizes that families are all different, and the state has an interest in promoting stability through legal recognition.

Today, we reaffirm our commitment to our kids and to each other.

Love to all!
Douglas 

When You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say

I've heard some crazy things while out with our twins. Some people, even when their intent is not to be rude or prying, really have no filter at all.

But, this story takes the cake. Take a second and read it!

Meanwhile, in Indianapolis, Chad and I had brunch on Sunday at one of the more popular breakfast places in the gayborhood. The food was great! The service--well--not so much. I am perfectly aware that, while being the 12th largest city in the US, Indianapolis is not a bastion of progressively-minded families. Nor are people really accustomed to seeing two-dad families strolling around.

But, I was completely unprepared for the cold-shouldered reception that we received from this particular LGBT-friendly restaurant. Now, let me provide some context: our stroller was stationed out of the way, not taking up any usable table space, our kids were quietly playing with their toys, we went at an off-peak time and our order was uncomplicated.

 Despite all of those mitigating factors (and when compared to our last venture out for breakfast which occurred at a Bob Evans with a waitress named Jenny who almost hugged our faces off because she thought our kids were so cute), we were totally not taken care of. I'll spare you the details on all of the things the waiter did that I found rude or dismissive; suffice it to say that in spite of leaving with full and happy bellies, I was scratching my head a bit.

And then I read this. And I wondered even more about what had happened to us on Sunday morning. Did we get the cold shoulder because we were a family at a restaurant other than Bob Evans? Or is there something else going on in the LGBT community.

Chad and Ezra doing some people watching from our 2nd-story loft in downtown Indy

We have about two more weeks to explore the area around our loft, so I'll let you know what we discover. 

Gone Fishin'

At the beginning of June, the boys had a mini photoshoot with the uber-talented Amanda Beam (Southwest Ohio). Now, I just have to figure out what kind of frame to get and where to hang it in our apartment.

Meanwhile, things are a bit louder here in the loft. Cedric is working on some teeth, and has not been pleased for the last 48 hours. We're thinking about buying better noise-cancelling headphones.

Kidding (mostly).

Cheers,
Douglas

Let's Give 'Em Somethin' to Blog About

If you haven't heard, we're on vacation in the USA. Not India. Unfortunately, the weather in Indiana, and much of the middle feels more like New Delhi. Despite the obnoxious heat, we've settled into a routine of eating new foods, playing in our rented loft and walking around town. We've visited with family in Indiana and Ohio and seen fireworks, and all is well. For several weeks, everything has been pretty normal.

Ah, yes! The doldrums of summer have arrived.

And then, yesterday our dear Cedric decided to sprout two teeth at once! He has been remarkably calm and not very fussy for all of the dental calamity that he must feel on his little gums. With this recent development, he evens up the tooth count. Both boys have two.

Exciting times!!

Twin Update

The boys are almost eight months old, and we went to the doctor in America for the first time. Everything is going great, and the boys are growing bigger and bigger. Here are some highlights:

Ezra has two teeth and is starting to crawl. Others who meet him often remark how athletic he is. He has very muscular legs and loves to move about. He smiles often. He's no longer stoically silent twin, as he has found his voice in the last couple of weeks; although he's still not quite as talkative as his brother. He is eating two "real food" (read baby food puree) meals per day and loves all of the food we've tried except for sweet potatoes. He is still our petit homme but has added on almost two pounds since we left India and now weighs 13 lbs, 6 oz and he is 25.7 inches long. Despite the severe weight discrepancy between Ez and his brother, the doctor is not concerned as he is growing at a normal rate. He's had some eczema patches on his skin since the beginning of June (which will be the subject of another post), but those have been kept under control with lotions and emollients. He loves to go hunting for his brother's pacifier and use it as a teething toy.

Cedric loves to roll on the floor and uses his hands to turn in a complete circle while on his belly with remarkable agility and quickness. None of his teeth have broken through, but he has two that are waiting just below the surface of his gums. In the last week, he has become an expert at sitting up on the floor unassisted and is becoming very proficient at holding his own bottle and feeding himself. He loves to swim and go under the water. He is still our big boy and weighs 16 lbs 15 oz.He is 27.5 inches long. He follows conversations that are going on in the room and really loves being around people. He has a severe addiction to his pacifier when tired and falling asleep (way to go, Dads!). He loves to eat and gets very excited when he sees his food. He's loved everything that he's tried except for peas.

All in all, a great trip to the doctor!