Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Are We OK?

One of my closest friends from high school and college is now a psychologist in the air force. He deals with all kinds of patients with many kinds of mental health issues. Due to his deployments and our living in India, we haven't seen each other in three years. In those three years a lot has happened (like the birth of our twins, and the birth of his daughter). So, we met up in Atlanta over the weekend.

More about the trip later.

For now, suffice it to say that every time I'm around other parents (and certainly around the children of a psychologist), I'm constantly watching them and asking myself, are we OK?

Yesterday, I made an appointment with the pediatrician, not because anything is wrong, just to check in and see if we're OK.

Today, I did a google search--my first mistake of the day--for 18-24 month developmental milestones. Yes, my kids are doing most of the things on "the list." But they're not doing all of them. Are we OK?

My sister's kids were around last week. Her son is two months older than my kids and about 10lbs heavier. He's a better eater, and says more words. Crap. I mean, I'm happy for her. But all of that only leads me to ask, are we OK?

Chad and I have often joked that we'd be EXCELLENT parents if we had a singleton instead of twins (any other parents of multiples know this feeling?). But we don't have one, we have two! Which, of course, leads to the question; are we OK?

And then there's pinterest and all of the parents that have time to enrich their children's lives with neat activities, and then have time to create how to's for the rest of us underachievers. Yikes. We may not be OK.

And, oh goodness, there's the fact that we're same sex parents, and I constantly feel like people are waiting for us to fail so they can say "I told you so!" Are we really OK?

I'm not panicky. In my own estimation of myself and Chad, I think we're pretty calm parents. But it is a daily task to stop asking whether or not we're OK and really focus on my interactions with my kids. And, I guess that is the point of this rather rant-like post. I want to spend more time in the moment with my kids, and less time worrying about whether or not we're OK.


  1. I've seen your parenting skills. You're okay. Okay?

  2. You're as OK as the rest of us! (I think that's good, right?) :-)

  3. I'm sure you're fab parents, whenever I find myself questioning my parenting ability I remind myself of how poor kids used to grow up in Victorian Britain,(bare with me)....I run an oliver twist poor house style short clip through my head and think how much more stuff/attention/love/fuss/time/interaction my son gets compared to all of them. Children don't want or need too much fuss, they just want love, play, food and a safe warm bed. Anything on top is great and an added bonus. Some parents over-parent and the kids end up spoilt.
    In summary just do your best and remember the oliver twist orphanage..... :-) you are okay!!!!

    1. LOL - I love this analogy!

    2. Haha Yes John thought you'd like that! Just the way my weird old brain works

  4. Being a same sex parent of twin boys as well I wonder what life with one would be like and constantly compare what one is doing with the other wondering if they're ok and if we're ok. I think that's totally normally. So you've gotta be ok because I need to know that I'm ok!

  5. You are certainly okay. You are certainly MORE than okay. I sit back and watch the two of you communicate and parent your boys and think, "They are pretty awesome parents." Really. You are guys are doing great and those beautiful nephews of mine are pretty awesome too.

  6. Yep with a singleton we asked the question all the time, is he too skinny? Shouldn't he be talking now? Walking sooner...blah blah blah!!! Now with two that were preemies its even worse, BUT I have the best Pediatrician in the world who constantly reminds me that 'every person is different...some fat, some thin, some small, some tall, some picky eaters some just take there time and some bloom quickly and kids are just little people growing and developing in their own way and their own time.' I just take every single moment to enjoy and rejoice in each of their own personal accomplishments and changes in their way in their time!!!

  7. im new to your blog and i just wanted to say that the fact that your asking if you are all ok, means you are ok. you as a parent are doing everything right. bless your 2 little boys :)